The Cosplayer
by Vestergaard
Summary: One-shot. A girl meets a amazingly realistic cosplayer of Sephiroth in the park, but she comes to understand that things are not always what they seem. Parody "Mary-Sue" version up 3-13-05!
1. Horror Version

"The Cosplayer"  
By GMHY

The grass felt good, but it was very spiky, sticking into her shirt like tiny swords. When she lay in grass, she always felt slightly unclean, like being on the ground contaminated her. She felt exposed. That was a foolish feeling, stemming from encounters with her sister years before. Whenever she would lay on the ground, her sister would pretend to fall and catch herself right above her at the last moment.

Every time she would cringe. And her sister would laugh, her eyes closed and free.

She felt the urge to wash her hands.

The sun was beating on her pale face like a temperamental child. The shade had wandered off.

She opened her eyes and sat up. It was a park with trees and children playing soccer. The grass was green and slightly yellow, drying out in the sun. It was unnatural. The grass would never grow alone in the desert climate, but the people were rich and spoiled with water, wasting it on such niceties as dying grass.

But she was just being belligerent, as usual. There was actually no reason to be so negative. The water came from far away, from more temperate zones. There was plenty of water to waste.

She squinted into the sun, wishing she lived somewhere where there were more clouds in the sky. Where it rained more than twice a year.

When she saw him, her eyes grew large and disbelieving.

"There's no way."

The man was standing fifty feet away with his profile to her. He was dressed in black with white armor pieces strapped to his shoulders. His hair was unnaturally white; she had never seen haired dyed such a realistic white.

Immediately, she felt pleased, the immature child in her ecstatic at the prospect of being 'in the know.'

She knew who he was supposed to be.

She smiled. "Hey! Great cosplay!"

He didn't answer. He didn't even turn, engaged in watching the children play.

She stood up, blood rushing to her legs and head. Her grin was excited.

When she was a social distance away from him, she tried again. "Hey, guy. Your costume is awesome. You look just like him."

A moment passed. He wasn't answering. Maybe he didn't hear her.

She stepped forward to get a view of his face. To see if it would match up with the perfect vision in her mind. Her smile was stretched across her face like a small child's.

The children played soccer obliviously. They were young, innocent and filled with laughter. They seemed far away, kicking a ball through the dying grass. The heat seemed to push down on them, muffling their laughter and warping it.

His face was just as she felt it would be; aristocratic, cruel and unfeeling. His eyes were fixed on the children, green and bright above high cheekbones.

It was perfect.

He looked just like him.

His voice came then, as she saw his face for the first and last time. He never looked away from the children.

"Those such as these. I will create their future. Death becomes them."

It was almost a whisper, sibilant, calm.

Such a strange statement.

"Wow, you really are a nut, aren't you? You're even playing the part."

She couldn't look away. The heat pressed down on the crown of her head.

"They will pay for their crimes against this Planet." His eyes were fixated, insanely focused. "Their souls and life energy will return to the Planet and all life...will begin anew."

There was something in the man's manner, something strange. She looked at his intent face, then stepped back in horror. She saw something there that couldn't be expressed, the summation of fears, the product of hate and insanity. Something that couldn't be acted out or practiced.

Something that was naturally ingrained in him.

It was perfect.

He looked just like him.

Then he was walking, through the field towards the children. His sword was in his hand. Terror gripped her; she couldn't move. Unreality and vertigo seized her and she fell to the ground. He was on the first child, slicing the boy open methodically, unrelenting. Another fell.

Another.

She watched the blood. So bright that she couldn't bear it; the crimson ribbons torn from small bodies. She crouched there in the grass and vomited.

She could hear it. The wet liquid sounds pressed down on her ears.

Fearfully, she looked up. Her hands braced her shaky form against the ground; the sun was too bright.

He was done with the deed. It was nothing like she'd ever seen. More overwhelming than her entire existence.

The children were sprawled, dead, broken. Blood covered the field, soaked it. Soaked their bright uniforms. She never knew there could be so much blood inside a human being. Inside such small human beings.

She gagged again and staggered to her feet. She shook.

She couldn't look away.

He looked just like him.

He stood perfectly still. The edges of his clothes were covered in their blood. His sword was dripping with it. It was in his hair. She could see it clearly from where she stood.

Blackish red against white.

He turned slowly, looked at her.

Shock ran through her and she staggered backward, the breath rushed out of her.

He did not move, staring at her for long moments. Then, he turned again and strode down the field, to the sidewalk. Down the street, blood dripping from his weapon, coat, hair...

The sun was in her eyes, burning her; the heat was oppressive. The grass was sharp and cruel.

She couldn't move. Couldn't look away. She cringed with that old, exposed feeling.

The sprinklers came on, showering the bloodstained field and spattering the dead children's faces with water.

She felt the urge to wash her hands.

FIN

Author's Note: (Cosplay costume play, people dressing up as anime characters and things). This one-shot is kind of complicated. It has a theme (fear and death) as well as motifs (the grass, heat, etc.). Which is cool, because I only spent like an hour on it. There's a bunch of foreshadowing, too. Try to find it all! (J/K) I was trying to use a few things I'd learned about repetition and the use of grammar rules. Every grammar rule I broke was purposeful and was meant to help in the spacing and speed of reading. I hope it's good quality. I'm looking for a beta reader, if anyone is interested.


	2. Mary Sue Version

Here's the parody of the previous chapter. I decided to do this since you guys seemed to think it was good. Also, I need to practice my purely humorous crap. The last version is what would _really _happen to _you or me._ This is the hopeful, fanciful, fanfic version of what would happen to Mary-Sue if she ran into Seph the same way. This is making fun of me. My beautiful Marion is NOT A MARY SUE! FLAMez on JOoo00! LALALALALAAAA! I'm not listening! LALALAAA!

The Cosplayer Parody

By Great Materia Hunter Yuffie

But when they're parking their cars on your chest,  
You've still got a view of the summer sky.  
To make it hurt twice when your restless body  
Caves to its whims  
And suddenly struggles to take flight...

Three thousand miles north east,  
I left all my friends at the morning bus stop shaking their heads.  
"What kind of life you dream of? You're allergic to love!"  
Yes, I know, but I must say in my own defense,  
It's been undeniably dear to me, I don't know why.  
When every other part of life seemed locked behind shutters,  
I knew the worthless dregs we are,  
The selfless, loving saints we are,  
The melting, sliding dice we've always been.

The Shins, "Know Your Onion!"

Marion was the creation of a writer named, very originally, Great Materia Hunter Yuffie. Marion was a completely beautiful young woman. Her long blonde hair blew freely in the wind, whipping dramatically as with a magical force. Her large eyes glowed secretively with inner secrets. Her body was lithe and well-formed and she was soft-spoken, well-read, graceful, delicate, a genius, and surprisingly single.

Marion's middle name was Mary-Sue. But GMHY would defend her to the death, writing, "Flame on joo! Fl4me 0I/I j00! My little Marion is not a Mary-Sue! You obvoisly dont knw god writing when joo see it!"

(GMHY was proud of her mastery of the L337 tongue, almost as much as her writing abilities.)

Marion, being as perfect as she is, would only consider marriage to the following men: Johnny Depp, Cary Grant (dead though he may be) or David Bowie (fifty though he may be), which just _happened_ to coincide with the secret yearnings of the author, GMHY. Unfortunately for said writer, this fic doesn't happen to be Labyrinthine or Piratey (or 1930's, heck, _no one _wrote fanfics about Cary Grant, more's the pity) in nature, so she decided to snoop around for other 'perfect matches' for her little Marion.

Then, thunder struck. A flash of pure inspiration. Something clicked in the author's brain; a silly, suicidal, yet perfectly agreeable notion conjured up while staring blankly across the room at her sister playing FFVII.

Her thought?

_Hey...I remember that game. Wasn't there a hot guy in it? Like...Sefiroth or something..._

With her wonderful idea sprouting like a common weed on Miracle Grow, the author set to work. Although 'work' isn't what such a labor of love should be called. Bending fetally over the keyboard, she gave birth to another half-baked fanfic about her beloved Marion saving the dark, brooding hero 'Sefiroth' from his inner demons. She didn't work for personal gain. No, this work was a selfless one. The only thing she asked in return was to suck _as many reviews out of it as possible._

It goes like this:

* * *

During her daily romp in the park, which Marion took time for even though she had so many extraneous activities: kendo, karate, fencing, beauty pageants, feminist revival meetings, charity work, parties, and random magical adventures, she was highly enjoying the bright sunshine and soft grass of the beautiful summer day.

_Oh, how I wish there was a man who could complete me!_ she thought wistfully. Her previous boyfriend had not 'cut the cake,' if you will. And I think you will.

Although she was extremely popular at school, there was still that hole where her romantic life should be. She received four or five offers a day, but dramatically rejected them all, feeling that the man of her dreams was sure to come around and save her from her awful, unromantic fate.

It was very lucky for Marion, then, that she lived in a city named...

* * *

At this point, GMHY turns to her sister, who is still playing FFVII. "Um...what is the city that Sefiroth lives in?"

Her sister, busy configuring materia, barely hears her. "Midgar. I'm pretty sure Sephiroth lived in Midgar at some point."

"That's like a little town, right?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Equipped with this information, GMHY feels new surges of delight and artistic skill. The words spill out of her fingers in a kind of trance. She can just see the reviews now:

"RoXZORsSZZ!1 zat was kewl! Sw337! Write more ficcy now! Lol!"

"Aww! So mean! Bad author! Bad cliffhanger! Ahh, waz gonna happin!"

"When is there going to be some hot action? I...I need my hot action."

"I jsut luv the way you chracracterise Sefiroth. This is the BEST fanfic I've EVaH read."

Her eyes gleamed with a fanatic light. The story continues:

* * *

It was very lucky for Marion, then, that she lived in a city named Midgar. A little town filled with the song of birds.

It may sound peaceful from the animal sounds, but in actuality, the society of the small town was segregated and hate-filled. The commoners looked enviously at the aristocrats, and the nobility stared down their long noses at the peasant folk as if they were slugs or cattle or something.

Marion, who was the best student in Midgar High School, and also the most popular, had the misfortune to be born into the lower class of society. She also had the misfortune to be in love with the most eligible bachelor of all of Midgar- the beautiful yet manly, wonderful, hot and mysterious millionaire leader of the military, General Sefiroth.

* * *

_There! Marion is NOT a Mary-Sue! And anyone who says she doesn't have any faults should just read that! See, she's poor! Marion has faults, poor thing!_

It tore her heart to make her beloved Marion a low-class girl, but GMHY decided to make up for it by making it her main plotline. And by making her basically acting like an aristocrat in every other respect. GMHY read over her beginning again in astonishment.

_That's the most wonderful header I've ever written! I may be getting even better at writing! With that beginning, I'm sure to get at least ten reviews in the first day! Now how to make it twenty...?_

GMHY worried on a pencil between her teeth, even though she was using the computer to type.

_Ah! I know...the meeting of the two fated lovers! This is so original and...poignant! I really need to incorporate more of my ferocious vocabulary in this. It might just impress some of them enough that they'll review even more!_

* * *

He didn't know about her one-sided love, of course. She had seen Sefiroth riding down the streets one day on a white horse. She was not the same after that. After witnessing the sight of his blowing white hair and luscious...

* * *

"What color is Sefiroth's eyes?"

Her sister sighed and rubbed her face. "Oh, puddings. I'm trying to beat Emerald Weapon, here. Don't distract me, dummy! You made Cid die!"

"Sorry, just tell me. What color are his eyes?"

Her sister thought for a moment, then said, "I'm not really sure. I always thought it was green, but there are a few Advent Children screens that make them look blue. I'd go with the green, though. Everyone will think you know your cannon. You'll get more reviews that way."

"Are you kidding? I'll get more reviews?"

"Yeah," GMHY's sister said. "I purposefully don't review stories where they give him blue eyes, just for the principle of the thing."

"That's mean. I review everything I read."

"And you probably say the same thing in every one, just to make friends who will review your stories. Am I right?"

"Shut up."

"They probably say, 'I really like your story! Hurry and update! j00 roxors!' and you put a little special signature on the bottom you came up with when you were bored."

"Anyway," GMHY cut through her sister's too-true remarks. "So his eyes are green, right?"

"Yeah, whatever."

* * *

...the sight of his blowing white hair and glowing green eyes, Marion was ruined for any other man. She would marry Sefiroth or die a spinster!

Fate was with her. While she was sitting in the park with her tiny pink umbrella perched over her head like an exotic bird, thinking about her one true love and wondering how her dreams could come true, she saw him again.

Sefiroth. The talented general who led troops to victory time and time again. He was standing across from her, with his back to her. He was dressed all in black. His hair was fluttering in the wind, drifting past his...

* * *

"How long is his hair?"

"Holy crap! Stop talking to me! Cloud's dead! Dead! You killed him!"

GMHY sighed, feeling the demons of anti-fanfiction out to get her. "Just tell me how long Sefiroth's hair is."

"Sephiroth's hair is, like, to his knees. It's really long. Now quit asking me questions, already."

* * *

...drifting past his knees like a banner in the wind. Her heart stopped. The greatest swordsman in the world was standing right before her.

She stood up, feeling giddy. Marion made her way to the general's side, then stood next to him and looked up at him with big blue eyes.

Sefiroth noticed a movement to his side and glanced there reflexively. He was shocked to see the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, with hair like the sun and eyes as expansive as the blue sky.

"Hello," he inclined his head. The general reluctantly turned back to look at the soccer game he had been watching before she had appeared.

She smiled prettily. "Hello. I don't believe we've met."

Courteously, Sefiroth turned back to her. "I am General Sefiroth. And you are...?"

Marion fluttered her eyelashes. "I am Lady Marion," she said. She hoped her lie could be forgiven. This was true love, after all! Class should have nothing to do with it!

* * *

"Yeah, that's right! Even class distinctions shouldn't come between the fated love of my dear Marion and her dear Sefffy-lumpkinz!" GMHY whispered emphatically to himself. "He won't be able to help himself! She's just too hot!"

* * *

The two fell in love and almost instantly became engaged. They hadn't even appeared in society together, so caught up was Sefiroth in Marion's beauty. Marion loved him in return and they had great make-out sessions.

The next day, however...

* * *

"Hmmm..." hummed GMHY. She remembered something from English class about something called 'conflict.' It was a bummer, really. Conflict should never interfere in the perfect lives of such pure and beautiful personages as Marion and Sephiroth!

Well, GMHY had read a very many fanfics in her day and she had to admit that the best ones were always the ones with a semblance of a problem. Besides, having something come between their perfect love would make everything seem so much more dramatic.

So she racked her brains until she finally thought of something.

"Hey, do you think that it'll work?" she called to her sister.

"I don't care. Fighting Ruby here. Just write your little fanfic and leave me alone."

"Fine, but you're proofreading it."

"Meh."

Not that GMHY wanted any actual advice or proofreading on her work. She just imagined her sister saying, "Oh, that's the most wonderful story you've ever done, GMHY! It would be a sin not to unleash this on the general public! You will write the next great American novel! You'll be famous!"

Spurred onward by this fanciful notion, GMHY churned out another few paragraphs:

* * *

The next day, however, all their lovely make-out sessions came to an end, when Sefiroth asked the fatal question, "Where do you live?"

Unwilling to sully her good name by telling another white lie, Marion burst into tears at the thought of never seeing Sefiroth again.

"My love! I live in Cheapside! I'm so sorry! I lied to you, Sefiroth, my love!"

He was shocked. "Then your name is not Lady Marion?"

"No! It's plain Marion Chesney, from a poor family in Cheapside! I'm so sorry for misleading you! I understand if you never want to see me again."

Sefiroth went cold towards her suddenly. "I...I never want to see you again."

Angrily, Marion turned on him. "I thought you'd be above such concerns as wealth and prestige!"

* * *

"Yeah, get him, Mary! Get him! Tell him who's boss!" GMHY whispered emphatically to the screen.

* * *

His eyes were cold and pale green like a frozen lake.

* * *

GMHY amazed herself. "Wow, that line is worthy of Shakespeare! I'll be published for sure!"

* * *

...pale green like a frozen lake. "It is not only the quality of your blood that I question. Because you lied, there is also a question of the quality of your morals."

* * *

"Oh, man. She's not gonna take that lying down! Time to break out the weapons!" GMHY said, fingers flying.

* * *

Marion's eyes flashed. "How dare you question my morals! I challenge you to a duel!"

Sefiroth laughed. "You really think you can defeat me? You're ridiculous."

* * *

"That's it!" GMHY screamed. "No one, not even bishounen can call my Marion 'ridiculous' and live to tell about it! You're going down, Sefiroth! Then you're gonna fall in love and like it!"

Her sister looked up at her, startled at her outburst. "Do I really have to read that?"

GMHY, lost in her little world, didn't even hear her. She had read about a few sword fights in her perusal of Pirates of the Caribbean fanfiction and Regency romances. Surely all sword fighting was the same?

* * *

"I don't care, Sefiroth! We will fight tonight! Choose your second and be at the Midgar Bell Tower at midnight!"

Sefiroth laughed. "You don't understand. It is unheard of to fight women. It isn't honorable. And dueling has been outlawed in this city for fifty years!"

"Well, I still believe in it, so we're going to do it." Marion's blue eyes flashed. Sefiroth never thought she looked more lovely.

"Heh, that was sneaky of me...putting that in! See, he still loves her! There's still a chance! They're definitely getting together in the end!"

"I won't duel a woman," he stated resolutely.

Her fists shook. "If you do not duel me, I will make your life miserable. I will follow you to the ends of the earth and make sure you never get married to anyone else! You have ruined my reputation!"

Sefiroth looked startled at this declaration. "How did I manage that? We only made out a few times."

Marion screamed in her righteous indignation. "You are refusing to fight me. You are dishonorable!"

Sefiroth sighed in defeat. "Fine. For no reason at all, I'm going to meet you to fight you tonight."

* * *

GMHY sighed in time with 'Sefiroth.' She couldn't really think of a reason why he would gun fight her, but she just wanted to have a fight scene in her story, so she fit it in. It would definitely be a sexy little fight, too. Between two lovers torn apart by class! It was just the right amount of tragedy and angst she needed to be satisfied!

* * *

They met at the striking of twelve. It was very dark, the moon floating on the Midgarian river. They could barely see, there was so little light.

They met with their seconds, with a doctor on hand in case of injury. They picked up their guns and started to step.

The clock was still humming. Sefiroth didn't want to kill his little honey, but he had no choice if he wanted to convince her to cut it out.

Marion's pride was hurt and she had been trained in firearms since she was three years old. She knew she could take him out, even though she didn't want to because he was so hot.

They turned, aiming at each other. A shot went out and echoed across the courtyard.

* * *

GMHY, not really knowing where she was going, decided that that was a cliff-hangery enough place to stop. Grinning in triumph, she put her work through the spell check. She added the word 'Sefiroth' to her computer's dictionary, so she would seem hardcore.

"Hey, get over here. I'm done with it and I want you to read it!"

Her sister looked over at the computer. "Are you kidding?"

"Of course not!"

GMHY's sister sighed and slumped over. "Okay, what the crap am I lookin' at?"

GMHY proudly pointed to the beginning and nervously hovered over her sister while she read.

When she was done, her sister was red in the face from suppressed laughter.

"Well? Is it completely awesome, or what?"

"Oh, yeah, it's awesome, alright. Put it on the internet just how it is. Everyone's going to review this one. You wrote 'Sefiroth' so well, sis. I'm proud of you. And I even got a shiver when you described Midgar as a little town full of chirping birds and London-esqe social structures."

As GMHY smiled happily and saved her masterpiece, her sister asked one final question. "How many Regency romances have you read recently? Just curious."

GMHY counted on her fingers, then got confused. "I dunno. A lot, I guess. Why?"

"It explains a lot of your...techniques."

"Oh, cool."

GMHY uploaded it onto her favorite website, faced with the chilling, empty spaces where her title and summary should go, GMHY's mind went blank. This is what she eventually wrote:

* * *

"Star-crossed Lovers"

Sefiroth/OC. When destitute beauty Marion finds rich hottie Sefiroth in the park, what will she do to win his love? And will problems get in the way? Please R&R! Rated PG-13 for HOT SEFIROTH ACTION!

* * *

Needless to say...the story would end up one of two ways.

Either

A) No one reviewed it, and GMHY lost interest in fanfiction until the next day when she tried to hook up the scared Johnny Depp with "Maria Rosengard," a pirate from the English Channel out to win his love!

Or

B) It received three thousand reviews...becoming one of the most successful stories in the FFVII section. Lucky sap.

FIN

* * *

A.N. Marion Chesney is actually my favorite Regency Romance author. It really was unintentional until I got to the last name at the end, then it made me laugh and I had to do it. Anyway, this is my funny version. Thanks a lot for reading, it means a lot. 


End file.
